The Thing That Doesn't Matter
by b-okey
Summary: Bokuto Koutarou finally left early after a month full of activities. But when he wanted to celebrate it with Akaashi, his beloved underclassman, he found out about the horrible things that just happened in Akaashi's apartment.


It was such a long time ago since the last time Bokuto could go home earlier, after more than a month getting involved in such a huge project. It escalated his anxiousness, making him even more and more sensitive for almost every little thing. A lot of time that he usually used to laze around, lying in bed until noun, or just hanging out with Akaashi, was taken from him just like that. But in the end, it was worth the wait, Bokuto thought along the way. The project turned to be a huge profitable project, and he took care of it too.

That was why, on his hands now were two plastic bags, once filled with all snacks suitable for drinking and the other with several cans of beer. Bokuto really wanted to see Akaashi now, he wanted to brag, he wanted to see his underclassman proud face, he wanted to be an upperclassman that Akaashi was proud of, just like when they were in high school. He had never seen Akaashi widely smiled since his own graduation ceremony. Would he smiled like that time again if Bokuto came and told everything about this project? Well, Bokuto hoped so.

After arriving at the apartment building, Bokuto stopped right at the entrance, hesitating to stepped into the door. He reached for the phone in his jacket's pocket, but eventually put it away again. His mind and his gut felt like contradicting itself. He really wanted to make this a surprise for Akaashi liked surprise like this, but his gut told him to call. For several times, Bokuto picked his phone and put it in his pocket again, and ended up going in without saying anything.

From the upstairs, a man in a lux suit went down in a rather swift steps. Bokuto didn't even realize him until the man suddenly snorted while passing him by. The older turned out fast, raising a brow to the weird guy. As if he knew he was being looked at, the weird man turned around as well, smirking like an idiot. Bokuto could feel his blood were rushing through his head.

"Are you perhaps visiting Akaashi?" the weird man suddenly asked, making Bokuto even more pissed off of him to be cockily knowing what he wanted to do.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" Bokuto answered, and trying to put pressure on the man in his question.

The man laughed, but it didn't make Bokuto feel to follow him laughing, at all. It's irritating. "Just giving you a warning, don't be surprised when you go there," that man said playfully and left while waving his hand.

Those statement didn't mean good, and Bokuto trusted his gut to go to Akaashi's place as soon as possible. His foot fortunately cooperating with him, as he could run pretty fast just like when he was still young. His heart beat faster, his stomach didn't feel well, like it was twisted inside. His mind had already thought of a lot of worst scenarios he would ever across.

_Please don't, please don't say Akaashi is dying._After running through the stairs for three floor, Bokuto arrived in front of the door to Akaashi's place gasping for air. He didn't remember the last time he ran this hard for years now. But it didn't matter now. Bokuto quickly pressed the bell to Akaashi's place, but no one was answering, no one was responding. It didn't make him happy at all, his heart just beat faster and faster.

When the older turned the door knob and pushed a bit, the door was unexpectedly opened. There was no sound inside, not even a rustle or some voice of dragged feet. But then Bokuto heard a faint noise, a voice of someone. Someone, most likely Akaashi, was sobbing, over something. The voice was held by something that Bokuto still didn't know of yet. But at least, he's relieved that Akaashi probably wasn't dying, he's alive. And now, unto the new concern.

"Akaashi! Are you there?" Bokuto tried to call out his underclassman, hoping the other party would answer. But as he got closer to the living room, the sobbing voice was also getting more clearer and louder.

The grey haired guy walked through the door to the living room, when he saw something not really pleasant. It was a huge mess that he never saw before in this apartment. The sofa wasn't in its usual place, as well as the glass table that used to be close to the sofa. The cushions that originally put on the sofa, the cushions that Bokuto gave as the move out gift for Akaashi, were thrown and were near a door. The floor was wet as well.

But what shocked Bokuto the most was a quiet amount of white liquid, splattering everywhere near the now out of place sofa. There was also a set of clothes lying on the floor, and it's Akaashi's clothes. And in the worst time, his mind was showing numbers of the worst scenario that could lead to this mess, the things that Bokuto hoped weren't the case at all. Though his gut was feeling weird and twisted, as if telling him that the scenarios were probably happened, he wanted to trust Akaashi.

The question now : where the hell was he?

The voice of someone sobbing was caught by Bokuto's ears, seemed to be coming from his right side. As he turned to see what was on his right, there was a white door that's closed shut. A door to Akaashi's room. Bokuto stood up after putting the plastic bags on the table, slowly took step by step to the door, that somehow every steps felt heavier and heavier. But the voice was getting clearer, and if the person behind the door sobbing was actually Akaashi, Bokuto knew he needed to be there.

"Akaashi?" Bokuto called out to the person inside the room, hoping it was Akaashi inside. The sobs stopped, followed by a shallow and hoarse voice.

"Bokuto-san?" the person inside replied, rather panic judging by it's shaky voice.

"Akaashi, I know you're inside. Open the door," Bokuto banged on the door pretty hard. The other person didn't say anything at all, there wasn't any respond. "Akaashi!"

"Don't come in, please," Akaashi responded in the end, still with the husky voice, but it sounded like he was about to cry. It trembled.

"I'm _definitely_ coming in, Akaashi. I can't just leave you like that," the older now knocked it more lightly, afraid that Akaashi was really behind the door.

"Just go home, Bokuto-san, I'm okay," the weak voice said, trembling.

"There's no way you're okay if you're crying, Akaashi," Bokuto could feel the blood inside his was boiling. "If you don't want your door to be broken, then open the door," there was only a small hint of worry in Bokuto's tone, and a big portion of anger.

Akaashi actually obeyed his upperclassman, decided to open the door after a while for a bit. Just a little bit. "I'm fine," the younger said while showing up only his upper head down to his eyes. Bokuto could see the eyes were red, probably from crying, and his hair was a big mess. He held the door knob to open it wider, but Akaashi didn't let him to.

"Akaashi, don't make more worried, okay?" Bokuto's voice was shaking, and trembling. "Please," he said.

There was a really long pause, long enough that Akaashi was wobbling and fell. Bokuto didn't hurry to open the door, but then shocked by the view he saw from Akaashi after he encouraged himself to open it. The messed hair, the swollen and teary red eyes, the now dirty pretty face, and his body was covered by a thin blanket-like fabric from his shoulder down. The older kneeled before the raven, who now was looking down on the floor, and his shoulders started shaking, sobs was heard again.

Slowly, Bokuto stretched out his hand to the younger's face to lift it up, to see the pretty face better. And the older could clearly saw the tears that fell down from both those eyes, the eyes that Bokuto had admired since a long time ago. Using his thumb, Bokuto wiped the tears from the younger left eyes. His heart hurt, it really did. His mind was playing a scene from a while ago, showing an annoying face of a man he met before.

"Can I ask you some questions, Akaashi? But I probably should not," Bokuto hesitating. He needed to know if the man earlier had something to do with the mess in this apartment, or know something about what just happened. But it will ended up hurting Akaashi-

"I'm sorry, Bokuto-san," Akaashi finally spoke, tears were falling again, voice was trembling greatly. "I'm sorry that I'm not such a good person like you think, I'm sorry-"

"Akaashi!" the older raised his voice, making Akaashi to stopped opening his mouth. The words left hanging in the middle. "I'm really sorry, but I really want to know everything about this. Do you want to tell me?"

Akaashi's eyes felt empty while looking at Bokuto's determined eyes, but the younger nodded. And what came out through those trembling lips was a big shock for Bokuto.

"Someone find out," Akaashi paused, inhaling some air to fill out his lung, "that I like a man."

The atmosphere was really heavy, that even Bokuto felt suffocated.

"He only said he want to visit me and have a drink, so I accepted it. But when he arrived, he suddenly closed my mouth by a tape and tied my hand," Akaashi went silent for a while, thinking of words so he shouldn't said the word that would probably make the older went angry. "He... pulled away my clothes, and forced his way-"

Bokuto hurriedly covered Akaashi's mouth by his right hand. He didn't want to listen to the rest, he didn't really want to know, he thought he figured out the rest. Akaashi unknowingly exposed one of his wrist with red mark on it. The older sat down before Akaashi and reached for the exposed wrist, taking it closer so he could see better the unpleasant mark. He couldn't after all.

And so, Bokuto stared at the floor still holding Akaashi's wrist. The younger didn't say anything, didn't know how to act about the now down upperclassman. He knew he did something wrong, he shouldn't have let anyone know about his crush being a man. He shouldn't just accepted that man's invitation. He shouldn't like a man. He shouldn't like-

"I'm really pathetic," Bokuto mumbled. Shocked Akaashi was trying to processing what the other party just said. "I should've went here earlier, yet I was getting myself swept away by the older senior."

"Bokuto-san?" Akaashi called out to the person before him. "You're not angry... at me?"

Bokuto lifted his face. "Why? Because you like a man? Because something like this happened?" Akaashi nodded. "Then the one I should get angry with is the person who force his way onto you and mess you up like this."

"Why? He wouldn't do it if I don't like-"

"He did it because he's a worthless scum, Akaashi, it has nothing to do with you liking a man."

"But he said I'm not like me by liking-"

"You're you, Akaashi. And like I said before, it has nothing to do with-"

"But it's disgusting, right? Me liking-"

"Then I'm also disgusting," Bokuto cut Akaashi off in the middle. He smiled, gently. "I also like a man."

"Bokuto-san?" Akaashi could feel his heart sting, a little bit. "Eh? Who- I mean, no, it's not like that. But, eh?"

Bokuto chuckled. "You heard it right, Keiji."

Akaashi froze.

"It's okay if you want to know who it is," Bokuto hold both of Akaashi's shoulder. Akaashi's attention was wholly on Bokuto.

"It's you. Keiji, I like you."

Tears started to fall from Akaashi's right eye, and from the left, and before he realized it, it's been showering. His ears didn't believe that the other party also felt the same.

"But someone just did things to me."

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm not Akaashi you know again."

"It doesn't matter." Bokuto smiled once again. "I have promised to myself to not think about any of your past that is unpleasant. So it doesn't matter."

"But Bokuto-san-" Akaashi suddenly stopped talking as the older hugged him. A tight hug.

_It feels warm._"The only thing you need to do now is to like me back and accept me."

Akaashi hugged back Bokuto, as tight as he could. "I've liked you since a long time ago, Bokuto-san."

As Bokuto talked, Akaashi could hear him saying it while he was smiling. And it was a thing that Akaashi wanted to hear.

"Thanks for liking me, Akaashi. I like you."

* * *

**_Hello! The first BokuAka story and the first story I rated Mature :') Though it was only a mention of a hint of rape, I decided to rate it that way so everyone who read this would be more careful :)_****_This story is inspired by Unconditionally by Katy Perry, and at the time I listened to it, I was feeling like writing a story of unconditionally love. Then I take it to the very extreme of me (the awkward person who can't even write a good description of _the white liquid_), but it ended like I hoped to. But there might still be mistakes here and there, I think. Feel free to left reviews, so in the future I will write an even better story._****_Hope you enjoy the story and hope you've been or having a good day! See you on the next story!_**


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